As Americans prepare to celebrate a rare Thursday holiday, high-ranking officials in the Bush administration announced their discovery of a major new terrorism threat.

This rates at least a bright orange, and it could turn red in an instant," according to George Hanover, an official in the Propaganda Ministry of the Third Directorate of the Department of Homeland Security.

Hanover explained that the alert was based on the FBI's discovery of a document that had been circulating on the Internet, and perhaps in other places.

"The document is quite specific," he said, "and it could be construed to call for violent action on this continent, and it might also involve suicide bombers backed by a well-financed organization with international connections."
(...)

Another drug connection, Ashcroft said, lay in an unusual phrase in the document: "the pursuit of happiness." Some names associated with the document, the attorney general said, were suspected of involvement in smuggling, as well as of participation in an attack by terrorists in disguise on a ship in Boston harbor which resulted in the destruction of much of its cargo.

"The similarities with the U.S.S. Cole attack are too significant to ignore," Ashcroft said, "and we all know what other terrible things started beneath the lax security system operated by the Port Authority of Boston."
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thanks to BuzzFlash

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The Declaration of Independence of the Thirteen Colonies

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
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THE UNITED STATES CONSTITUTION

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.
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THE BILL OF RIGHTS

The Conventions of a number of the States having, at the time of adopting the Constitution, expressed a desire, in order to prevent misconstruction or abuse of its powers, that further declaratory and restrictive clauses should be added, and as extending the ground of public confidence in the Government will best insure the beneficent ends of its institution;...
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