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  Saturday  July 13  2002    11: 55 AM

Blame Canada!

"Propelled by strong winds from the north, the fires have created a plume of smoke from Michigan to Massachusetts that's visible as far south as Washington, D.C." — National Post, Canada, July 8, 2002

OVEREAGER, CANADA SENDS SMOKESCREEN OVER U.S. BEFORE CANADIAN INVASION PLANS FINISHED
Canada Also Discloses It Has Invaded U.S. 113 Times, But No One Has Noticed

Embarrassed Canadian generals today conceded an overzealous officer defied orders and started fires in Quebec to shroud the eastern seaboard in smoke before Canada had finished preparing its full-scale invasion of the United States.

As a result, the classic war maneuver of blinding the enemy in advance of an attack — the smoke now blankets American skies as far south as Washington, D.C. — was wasted, said Canada's Defence Chief, Lt. Gen. Ray Henault.

"We were supposed to line up on the border, then start the fires," said a clearly disheartened Henault. "It's not like we can do it again. They'll know it's us. I had a cute little house in the Poconos all picked out, too.
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