Pagans Ate My Sugar Babies
Because what we really need now is the ancient, "real" Halloween to thwart those war-drunk evil spirits

'Tis the time of disemboweled gourds and spooky black cats and sickly terrifying vice presidential ghosts, of dressing up the wee ones in carefully branded molded-plastic heavily trademarked Disney- owned characters and sending them out into the 'hood with a flashlight and a cute plastic pumpkin bucket and a small semiautomatic weapon and some nice candy-corn mace.

'Tis also the time when we really, really might want to hearken back to the early days of this gloriously pagan Samhain holiday, a.k.a. the "real" Halloween, when men were men and women could powerlift an elk and the Celts were half naked and dancing around a huge Druid fire in crazy masks and animal skins and face paint. This is how it started.
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The Boondocks

Pumpkin cannon inventor seeks worthy competition

Jim Bristoe is getting a blast out of his pumpkin cannon.

Bristoe figures his 30-foot-long, 2-ton contraption can fire the orange orbs up to five miles. On Saturday, he entered his launcher in the Pumpkin Propulsion Contest, where the cannon far outclassed the competition.
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thanks to reenhead.com