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  Wednesday  December 4  2002    01: 07 PM

wwjd

Jesus Drives A Hybrid
In which it is revealed what cool wheels the Almighty would desire, and why Satan drives a Hummer
By Mark Morford

And hot on the holy heels of the cute and endlessly annoying bumper-sticker-riffic "WWJD?" phenom, which apparently includes not only "What Would Jesus Do?" but also "What Would Jesus Drink?" and "Where Would Jesus Defect?" and "Why Would Jesus Disco?" is the mixed blessing of -- and no one is making this up -- "What Would Jesus Drive?"

It is a mini movement. It is a makeshift religious cause. It is, apparently, not a joke. "WWJ Drive" is a bizarre and adorable little group of sensitive soft-focus environmentally conscious caring Christian Bible thumpers who are clearly asking the most pressing questions of the day.

Most notably, if Jesus had been, say, cryogenically frozen like Walt Disney and was successfully thawed out today and really needed to hit the Costco or suffer the last temptation of Berkeley by enduring the hellspawn nightmare that is the Bay Bridge commute, what kind of vehicle would His Most Pious of Holy Selves pilot?

Jesus, of course, would drive a hybrid. Maybe a moped. Bike. Holy blessed Segway. This is the overall message of "WWJ Drive?" Jesus loathes them Earth-hating gas guzzlers.
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