Mr. Winkle, Cuteness Demon
The world's most frighteningly sweet calendar-ready dog, or sure sign of the apocalypse?

It's one of those things that dances on the outskirts of your pop-culture periphery, maybe some odd item you happened to glance at in the bookstore, or a link someone sent you once that you looked at for a brief moment before you felt this weird pain behind your eyeballs and had to click away.

I have seen the face of doom. I have seen the face of nirvana. I have looked square upon the tragic visage of ultra-saccharine terror and cuteness on hyperdrive. I have gasped and winced and shrugged and smiled and said the same thing as you, which is, What the f***?

It is, of course, the very bizarre Mr. Winkle phenomenon, or mini-phenomenon, or international sensation, or pop-cultural circus sideshow or whatever you want to call it -- just don't call it this season's must-have toy. Because Mr. Winkle is all too real.
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Mark Morford, a columnist for the SFGate, has become one of the bright spots of my week. Check out his archives.

Mark also sends out a newsletter three times a week called the SF Gate Morning Fix where he does commentary on articles in SFGate. You can sign up for the SF Gate Morning Fix. Here are a couple of pieces available only in this newsletter.

== As The Earth Goes Ptew Ptew, Groan ==
The Shrub administration approved a very modest and actually rather insultingly miniscule increase Thursday in fuel economy for SUVs and small trucks, beginning with 2005. The Transportation Department will require fuel economy for SUVs, pickup trucks and minivans to increase by about 1.5 miles per gallon, gosh wow yawn whatever, over three years. Spokesweasels for the automakers actually had the gall to say a 1.5 mpg increase was "a significant increase" and a "daunting" challenge, snicker snicker, yeah right, as they all chuckled and snorted and patted each other on the back and toasted their gin and tonics as clusters of automaker execs sang drunken sea shanties in praise of oily Dick and squinty Bush in the background. "It's a minuscule number compared to what's needed and what's technically achievable," sighed environmentalists, though no one was listening to any loser progressives who actually care about the planet due to all the cheering at the drunken oil orgy going on at Lynne Cheney's fetish bunker. "Now we get to point to this insipid little legislation and say we actually did something for the envirun--, envuro--, envuron--, for the trees and stuff," squinted Dubya, bouncing up and down on Dickie's knee and then scampering off to go snort some more lime Jell-O mix off Ashcroft's thighs.
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2002/12/12/national1636EST0714.DTL&nl=fix

== Me And My Racist Toupee, Part II ==
Trent Lott led the fight to restore Jefferson Davis' U.S. citizenship and once suggested the Confederate leader would support the Republican Party if alive today. He voted against expanding the Civil Rights Act, and opposed the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday, saying there were other heroes "more deserving." He supported segregation -- which he now repudiates -- when as a college student he watched armed U.S. marshals escort the first black student to the University of Mississippi. He also advocated keeping blacks out of his fraternity. But he swears he's not a racist and can point to a handful of black issues he's championed in the Senate, mostly to avoid having his nuts chopped off and fed to hungry demonic squirrels by the increasingly furious gods of justice and human goddamn decency. "I am really really sorry about the Thurmond thing, or whatever" Lott muttered for the third time, slurring into a microphone as his toupee lunged sideways and something hideous and hairy and clot-like passed through his stomach and lodged in his small intestine and began gnawing. "Unless I'm not. The South will rise again! I'm dreaming of a white Christmas! Heh heh. Snort."
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2002/12/12/national1727EST0732.DTL&nl=fix

I must admit that I didn't find Mr. Morford on my own. I was directed to him by j p at DUMBMONKEY.