Shocking new info about tapioca
by Jon Carroll

Like all decent Americans, I was shocked this week to learn that millions of schoolchildren from semi-indigent families were receiving federally subsidized school lunches to which they were not entitled. These little criminals were sneaking nutrition from under the noses of taxpayers.

Don't they know we have better things to spend money on? Defense contractor overruns, for instance -- in this time of crisis, who's going to quibble about a billion dollars? Technological progress comes at a price: If we have to build a whole new city next to Aspen just to handle the new winter homes of defense contractor CEOs, it's a small sacrifice.

Fortunately, the Bush administration is all over these lunch cheats. In previous years, parents were required to submit income statements, and a small percentage were checked. Think of the abuse! Ineligible children chowing down on sloppy joes and carrot rounds! Makes your blood boil.
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  thanks to Dumbmonkey