| is that a light at the end of the tunnel or is that an oncoming freight train?
Liberal Arts Mafia has been silent for a month, until now.
Item: Why I stopped blogging
If you’re still checking back here after a month with no update to show for it, then this mea culpa is for you. Obviously, right? Because no one else is going to read it.
The reason, the number one reason (drum roll please), why the Liberal Arts Mafia web log has disappeared from the radar screen for the last month is: I CAN’T FUCKING STAND IT ANY MORE.
[...]
The DISEASE is everywhere. It is worse than SARS, scarier than monkeypox (which hit Ohio, not France, by the fucking way), and more pertinent to the substance of America than Laci Paterson or is it Peterson’s bloody awful death will ever be.
So I’m sorry to my friends who came to rely on me. I may eventually get back to posting news. But right now my RAGE is beyond def con five. Right now I’m in a life and death struggle with the DISEASE.
And if you can’t figure out what the DISEASE is, then I’m sorry, this apology isn’t for you.
[more]
I understand completely. The rage isn't easy to control. But sometimes the rage is overtaken by the fear. Not the fear of terrorists -- the fear of my government and of my fellow Americans. The fear of people who believe the world is 6,000 years old and believe that Satan is a real being that is loose on this earth. The fear of people, and a country, that have become delusional and have the power to do great harm. The fear of people that believe their own lies. The fear of people who see all who are not like them as evil and who must be destroyed. For I am not like them, not like them at all. I represent their worst nightmares. I do not believe in their god, I do not follow their hive mind, I do not swallow their lies. Worst of all -- I think for myself.
Why do I keep doing this blog? Why do I keep bringing back reports of the destruction of things that I hold so dear? Why do I feel like I am watching the largest wreck I have ever seen and I can't stop looking? I guess there is part of me that just has to know. I guess that, if you like history, watching the biggest history in your lifetime makes it real hard to tear your gaze away. I guess that I want to know when it will no longer be safe for me to remain in the country of my birth.
Is there hope? I honestly don't know. The fear, hatred, and utter ignorance of the world that these people have is a disease that is spreading and I don't think that it is curable. Can they be contained? I fear that it may be too late. It's not just a matter of defeating Bush. It's so much deeper than that. It's a mass hysteria and it seems to be inpenetrable by truth or reason or caring or love or forgiveness.
The only way I can keep some sanity in my blogging is to contrast this destruction with acts of creativity. By inserting examples of the things that are created by people who are passionate about the world around and within, who are open to the wonders that this world offers. I keep my sanity by bringing back things by people who have a fucking clue as to what a metaphor is. I bring back things by people who want to live and want their children, their children's children, and all those that follow to be able to live and discover all that is beautiful and wonderful because there will still be beautiful and wonderful things left to discover.
That is not to say that there aren't days I can't post another story and I need a break. I can't disparage anyone who can't keep this up. We all do what we can, as we can. I hope it will be enough. I fear it won't. |
