Yesterday was a traumatic visit with Gerry. She is becoming more distant and out of touch with reality. She seemed to recognize Zoe after Zoe talked to her and she responded to the news that her son Jim would be coming to visit in a week but she was mostly in her world and we couldn't tell just where that was. She is interacting more with the other residents but it's an interaction with little understanding. When we had her come and sit at a table with us she grabbed another resident, Jane, to join us. They both would talk, with knowing expressions, what was essentially nonsense. Sometimes we could divine what Gerry wanted but I think she was just agreeing with us. We could have said anything. She was insistent we make a list. She couldn't tell us what the list was for but that we had to make a list. So we made a list of the people present with their birthdate and astrological sign. Gerry took the list and read it and was satisfied. Zoe mentioned on the way home that it was like watching very small children playing grown up who tried to mimic things they had little or no understanding of. We told her we would pick her up today to go have her hair done. She then wanted to go now and we got nowhere trying to tell her we had to wait until tomorrow. Finally we had to go and Gerry was calling after Zoe as we left. This left Zoe in tears. As we left the room into the hallway Zoe had to stop and cry. One of the housekeepers came out after us and comforted Zoe, telling her that Gerry was doing fine and would forget this in another 30 minutes. That is one of the amazing things about where we have Gerry, even the housekeepers are in touch with what is going on with the residents and are incredibly caring. We had to exit through another room of residents. As we went through the room we both noticed two couples. It appeared that both women were residents and both men were husbands visiting. Both couples were sitting down and both women were curled up hugging their men and each man had his arm around is wife. It fucking rips your heart out.

Today we take Gerry to get her hair done. This had been a something that Zoe and Gerry have done together for the last year. I think Zoe had a fantasy of continuing it but it has become clear to her that Gerry won't really know where she his or what is going on. The plan had been that Gerry and I would wait until Zoe is done (her's takes longer) but now it is best that I return Gerry as soon as she is done and Zoe would visit after she is through. I'm not looking forward to this.

update
It went better than expected. I went in and walked her out while Zoe waited in the car. When she saw Zoe in the car she started crying. She has been doing that. Her emotions no longer have a filter. Her hair appointment was only about 5 minutes away. Normally it would have been upstairs but she couldn't make it up the stairs (we already knew this) so we waited downstairs while Robin colored Zoe's hair and then they came down and Robin washed and cut Gerry's hair. While we waited I kept reassuring Gerry that Zoe would be back in a few minutes. After Gerry's hair was done I took Gerry to Dairy Queen (while Zoe's hair was being finished) and we both had a small soft cone dipped in chocolate. We went back to HomePlace and I walked her back in. The caregivers were excited to see her and went on about how wonderful her hair was. I sat her down and told her that I was going back to get Zoe and would be back. She said to hurry back. She would soon forget that we were coming back and not notice that we didn't. It made it easier for Gerry. Part of me still feels like shit for telling her that.