| I just dropped my beautiful Yoko off at Dr Parent's. Her breathing is very laboured -- but I was both excited and horrified that when I picked her up to put her in the car to go, she showed agitation and she meowed...is that a will to live...or am I inflicting more stress on my little girl? Dr. Parent said that there is hope, if there wasn't he wouldn't be suggesting these steps...the first part is to see why her breathing is so rough on her, she had her cortizone shot earlier this month, so this is not goodness. They are to take some xrays of her chest, but dang it all, the darn machine is being serviced, so they will not know anything for an hour. I'm to wait here at home for a call. They still are thinking hydration, then, if warranted, kitty IV which would mean she stays at the Vets, and also start the insulin today, even though they can't really have the most accurate readings on her blood levels if she's not hydrated fully. I don't want "heroic measures" for my girl, unless she does. She was so pissed at my taking her to the car and the vets. How much can she know about vets are to make her feel better, more comfortable, healthier? She knows there are needles, and separation, and poking, prodding, and she is the best patient they probably ever had, she endures this all will grace. But, does she have a clue that these "tortures" are the very things that gives her relief to breathe easier? Marilyn says I should talk to her. She says she tells parents of infants to tell their kids what's going on even if they don't have the language to communicate and comprehend -- that on some level there's maybe some "connect" that allows them to "know". So, I talk to Yoko. But actions speak louder than words methinks. Can she know that I'm not "throwing her away" that I'm trying to do the very best for her? Damn, it's the effing weekend too, and if they choose to keep her, then she's there alone all weekend. Dr. Parent and Dr. Howell discussed together Yoko's "case" yesterday, and they determined that keeping her at home with me would be familiar and less stressful (in theory)...so to have her not come home scares me because they are closed on Sat and Sun and she'll be alone. He mentioned the word "hospitalized" -- I don't know if that means not staying in Freeland or not. Please take care of her. Let her know comfort not fear. Let her know health not illness. God Damn it all. Daddy, if you have any clout, help her please!!! Now I guess I wait for some news. Be safe, come home soon.
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