| Amid the "big picture" I know that this sentiment is silly, almost bordering on "can't *ANYTHING* make her happy?" etc., but truth be known...I am a bit blue with something akin to "Surviours Remorse". I can only rationalize it by saying that it has been a process that has been the center of my universe since April 15th, and my preparing myself for the worse ... and being the tenacious person I am, it's hard to switch gears? But, maybe larger still, I feel as if I have let my friends who have been there for me down in not having cancer, and not joining their "sisterhood". Here I have been, nervous and anxious, and reaching out for help, and some lovely souls have come though for me, and have sat by my "virtual" side waiting for each test, taking each let down and blow right along with me, and who have extended themselves for me. And, here I am, clean [knock wood], and able to avoid further invasive procedures, and the hard choices, and radiation and /or chemo or hormones, etc. because I avoided the bullet -- and yet many of my friends have not been so lucky. I am so sorry that they had to go through this, and who have had to revisit the past to help me out. Yes, there is some survivour's remorse. But, from this x-ray on, I will also have 2 markers in my breast, one being the "ribbon", the other, an "s" [which Dr Parikh had dubbed, with his unfailing good humor and spirits, "super woman" ;-) ]. Again, I must thank everyone, silent and vocal for their generosity and kindness and bravery.
{{{love!}}}
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