| 'Twas supposed to be a fantastic week having Robyn with us while Jenny went to finalize things on the Colorado home, but Mom degraded as the week progressed, and it is very sad to see it happening. I will miss them, the Valdez, so very much. And, it will be weird to next see Robyn, as a 9+ year old!!! If she's been acting about 12 now, just who will the 9 year old be, and what age? Egads! And I'll be missing the Evan toddler years, major bummer, because this is one of the most fun times for me, wrastling with them, and playing "make believe" with them, and seeing the world open up in front of their very eyes, but, it is so worth it all to know that the family will be a real, stable, at home family, together, 1.5k away, than divided. This is a "sacrifice" I'll make gladly! Mom is very scary. She is aware of the inability to vocalize things (this happens, still intermittently knock wood) and to comprehend things, or put a socialization-filter on all the time. In many ways, she can be just about Robyn's age in action, deed and words. So very horrific to see, and to know she is cognizant of it. It KILLS me. I lost it last night (mostly silent I hope) looking through things, for my missing CD that I wanted to watch and distract me -- I was crying a lot, and hurting for her and for me. I am at a loss as to how to help her truly. I do know that an Adult Home is still not the answer, but it's future seems more iminent than before. I have to get the finances in a row. I'll phone WGH SS dept. and see if they can give me a run down -- step by step on how to get this done. I am ill thinking about it. And, there is so very much to do -- jeeeeeeze, and I'm at a biorhythm or just typical chronic ebb right now. Mostly methinks I just don't have the stuff to play a full week with m'lady Robyn, and the added need for me to be referee and buffer between the world and Mom and Mom and the world is really tough on my psyche. So, another day. Another chance to get things accomplished, and maybe get Gordy to save for the future?!? [that's my latest -- I need him to start that NOW since yesterday is long past] And to try to get my debts paid, and the money due me by asst. folk recouped. I'm not sure why, but for some reason, when I lend some money, or an item, book, CD, DVD, mister, whatever, to ask for it back is really really difficult for me to open my mouth about it. Argh. That's something to put away for the 'Marilyn File". Major Pain Day today -- missing chochookum -- ratz!
As Miz Scarlett would say, I'm so tahed tahed tahed!
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