| Just playing a bit 'o catchjup...I had made a few entries before, personal and fun and even a bit o' news, but...some problems with a trojen horse (that is supposed to be remedied a while ago) that had Cliff restoring the system to a previous state, wiping out my entries ... horror! I just don't really write that much to lose the few I write, eh? So, speaking of "losing", I'm losing "IT"!!! Even Marilyn is suggesting I chat with her AGAIN -- that is twice in one week!!! Holy Moly! But I am so grateful that she cares enough to suggest it, and be there for me...and, yes, on a SATURDAY! Brilliant! I am very blessed despite my whining . It's looking like things are progressing to a point of having to think and rethink things in a very difficult way about where Mom needs to live to get the compassion and care she needs. Gordy and I are both way too human to not "react", and senses of humor is wearing thin. Add to that increased pain for me -- I'm even less affable. I just wish there was someone in my support group who would think of me first, and beat me to a breakdown or having to ASK, and they just take care of things -- just for a bit. I have been non-stop for way too long. Seems to be the life-lesson I've yet to get beyond. Gak. So, looks like next step for me to do, is to do the financial thing, and the medicaid thing for Mom. That should be a huge leap towards getting her Medicaid ready. The next step is to get someone in to help out, by spending a few hours in the AM & PM -- getting Mom up and ready and doing her PT exercises, and her Rx taken. This should alleviate a lot of frustration and bickering with Mom and us trying to convince her that she's taken her Rx and or hasn't yet and needs to. Oy! We can never win on this one. Poor Mom. And, this step will help me with their professional view as to how she's doing. That will be a huge help. With my health issues all over the place, and Mom's in flux right now (we have to get an appt with a neurologist to see if she has Lewy Body Disorder -- it will effect how she's medicated -- there can be a lot of bad reactions due to the type or disorders she is Dx'd with)...and I spoke to Dr D over a week ago, and still no appointment!!! Frustration!!! I know getting information would be helpful in treating Mom. So, it also appears as if I really can't avoid the Carpal Tunnel Surgery. Shit. First, there is the FMSetc "correction factor" which makes things hurt more, and longer, and healing more tough, and to try to be "there" for Mom etc and to be "capable" to do things for myself will diminish to a HUGE degree with using only ONE hand. Then, there is certainly not a lot of good words out there that strength will resume, and numbness is only temporary, and that the pain /and symptoms will be cured, or stay away if it works. So, it's really a "simple" procedure according to surgeons, but for the patient -- well y'all heard the ol' joke, the operation was a success, but the patient died...well a variation on that theme. Then after healing, time to do the OTHER hand. Swell. And, there are no real resources to help me choose a specialist surgeon who does hands -- I recall Dr Thorne from days of Dad, but he retired way back THEN! Any Western WA folk who may read this, please send me referrals if you have any. The pain just is killer and wakes me up from sleep, and the other day, I pet Zach, and he was being cuddles and "radishing" me and I COULDN'T feel his FUR!!! How horrific to be numb to that joy. So toes and finger -- especially fingers are crossed on that one. I sent an e to Jim asking him to phone Mom yesterday because she was crying so badly, only to find that he's on VACATION. This is sad because Jim had said he only had 2 days of vacay left, so he could only make it if he ends up in LA again and do an "overniter"...and now I find out, by accident, he had some days to use and he used 'em, but not on Mom. This hurts on so many levels. But, a good time was had for Gordy's b'day on the 24th, Wednesday last. I have to get the snaps together and posted. I love him and tried to spoil him, but he was acting "off" so I wish he was happier -- and I hope it's not an indication on how he feels about me. I'll learn one of these days. We're all so beat up and tired and worn and exhausted and blue. Life is not what I ever imagined LOL!
Partysnaps to come later...
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