| A short update on my Mom. My heart is literally breaking for her. She is back at Sedro-Woolley, and she's been there 14 days as of about one hour from now. She is so afraid, wounded and scared. She knows that she is not right, noat functioning properly, and she doesn't know why, or who is making this happen to her, and feels that she is abandoned by me, and that those that are there to "help" her are there to hurt her. I honestly believe that part of this fear is because of how she was being treated at HP. Their hiding drugs in her food, and getting "caught" by Mom, and then their being outwardly upset at her when she would toss it, well, despite a poor memory, she's human, and that was inhumane and disrespectful treatment. Joyce phoned from SW a bit ago, and in the background I could hear her screaming "Jimmy!" over and over. She was frantic and out of control. When she heard me on the phone, and we spoke some, it was apparent that she was uncomfortable. Between talking with Mom and Joyce, it became apparent that she was in some kind of wheelchair that disturbed her, she felt trapped, but worse, Joyce told me it was a reclining chair, and "dingdingding" - gestalt! She still gets dizzy and disoriented and sort of off-balance when reclined occasionally. So I'm sure that contributed to it. But, here's the main shit. And it is total shit. No one is willing to take her. There is one place that is taking her on a probationary period. IF they keep her, then that would be good, as it is north of the Island, hence not ferry bound, and 1.5 hour away each way. It's long for me and Gordy, re: my health, I can't possibly drive it myself, and Gordy ends up devoting the day, and loses a work day chauffeuring me. But, if they say no, then after a quick stay at a geropysch ward, i.e. back at Sedro-Woolley, or Monroe, she would be in line for a bed at Wester State Hospital, and that is 2.5+ hours away, and I hate the idea of her being in a state facility, and so far away, so far, that it will be almost prohibitive for me to visit often, so she'd be virtually on her own -- and that is so hurtful and unfair. Jim and I talked today, and, in anticipation of the worse (that's my modus operandi) he is looking to see if there is a place in the Des Moines area so that they could visit her, and there is the bonus of her grandkids and Daughter in Law. But when she leaves me, it will be the last time I say good bye to her...this is unbearable to think about, but it will be better for Mom than Western Washington. God /dess I love her so much that it hurts, I miss her, I love her, she's an amazing woman. And, HP definitely exacerbated her situation -- details at aother time. Mom, please know I love and adore you, you amazingly bright funny and creative woman. Please know some peace and know you are safe, please. If my love could be made into a wish, you'd be happy and know you are loved and be well again. xo+
Ur Doter
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