| A week of pain revisited...OMG I almost forgot the pain level it gets to, and the groaning and non-stop onslaught. The abdominal pain was excrutiating and it was also different this time. I've been berating the phrase to death to anyone who would listen that, "This doesn't feel right. I don't feel like I've fully recuperated since my recent hospital stay -- I feel vulnerable and just 'not right' ". I really have to "re-learn" to listen to myself and my core (aka gut) feelings about everything in my life. I got hit really hard, and if I had to pin-point reasons, I'd have to say it was stress, and, absolutely not having finished the "cycle" of pain that brought me to hospital, and also stress was a huge factor. I had never recovered from the last bout that got me to the hospital stay. This just started higher (belly-button area), and the "clutches" were different. Each time it "hit" it felt attached to my heart, and I thought I was having a heart attack with each pain attack. Scared the crap outta me. Today is really the first day I'm eating again and feeling like I'm coming back to "real life", but I still have phantom "heart pain that is just on top of the clutch /abdominal-but-more-like-solar-plexus-area" which scares me and tells me I'm not out of the woods yet, but at least I'm better. Another scary piece of this bout, is that my recollection of this pain-session is my lack of recall. I asked Gordy for specifics. I truly hope it is only a temporary symptom of the types of medicine I have to take to conquer the pain, and that we find a way out of it at Clear Passage, and I can reduce the meds and I take for the "flares". Please send me white light, prayers, good thoughts, heart, whatever for success at my 2 week session at clear passage in February. Please. Thank you in advance for any good thoughts.
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