| I'm not sure where I left off, but I'll start with posting this email that I faxed after hearing more scary info from the staff about Mom. Another phone call from the Doctor, and talk of hospitalizing Mom at a different facility - one that is better equipped. Falling to me, I fear for Mom's "sanity" and stress level if she goes for an overnighter after our experience at admittance, and how St Clair could not be with her as much as she needed, how they had no clue as to who Mom is or her needs, and it was horrific and that stress alone will create /exacerbate heart issues. So I wrote the following note after meeting with Waite and talking things over with him, and he and Dr K spoke and then Dr Waite explained things to me and Gordy. I can always have a physical, but this was a GCG crisis. We're pretty lucky that Dr Waite is willing to help out. My note I faxed:
11-15-2007 Dr. Khalighi, I really appreciate your speaking with Brian Waite, MD this afternoon. It proved very helpful and enlightening. Thank you. During our subsequent discussion, I realize that a blood transfusion will likely mean an overnight stay in the hospital. Mom's inability to speak clearly and be understood, her fears, dementia, et al, are basically challenges that she faces daily. Before I can feel comfortable saying yes to the procedure(s) outside WSH, I need to find out what sort of care Gerry will receive which addresses Gerry-specific issues. For example, Mom does not stay still, seated or resting, for long, nor does she sleep in her bed at WSH.
It is difficult to envision her staying put during any procedure.
Mom also has already pulled her IV out while at WSH and under supervision, I can only imagine what damage being left alone in hospital might bring.
Another "stand-out" issue, is her need for attention, and subsequent anger and frustration when alone or inactive.
Gerry is also known to be very vocal when she isn't understood. She is still unaware that it is her not speaking clearly, vs the "listener's" fault. Historically, Mom has always been upset when not acknowledged when she talks. The staff can speak to the above issues and more. They also have become quite adept at understanding her needs and vocalizations better than even Gordy and myself. Hopefully they can offer some suggestions to allay the issues that would likely arise with an overnight stay in the hospital. Personally, the two things that come to my mind, is having one or more people from E-8, go with her, even if it means in shifts, to offer a level of familiarity, and a better chance at communicating and calming her. The other thing that might work in conjunction with staff, would be considering medication to calm her. The last time she was in Hospital they tied her to the bed -- this would not be acceptable. I hope we can address, and be prepared for this challenge together, along with the appropriate people at E-8 who know my Mother best. I believe I mentioned before, that I would be willing, if necessary, to pay out of my pocket, for the staff's time if they accompanied Mom during the procedure(s). I want the stress level to be as minimal as possible for her. She is precious to me and I hope to make sure that if she has to go, she will be as comfortable as is humanly possible. Regarding the actual procedure(s) being done, I'd first like to wait a bit to see if time and care at WSH can offer the necessary improvement in her health. To that end, I would like to keep Mom at Western State Hospital for now, and have her condition monitored and myself kept in the "loop". If her condition worsens sooner rather than later, I will seriously consider approving the blood transfusion and a tap for lung fluids during the same time. I am hoping for the best, and relying on Mom's strength of character to help in the healing process. But, if the tests you order prove that she is getting worse, then by our discussing her care for a stay at the hospital, we will have a plan prepared and can act on the hospitalization in a timely manner. Thank you for your continued care Tonight, we brought food to Mom for our visit, and while we were setting the table, Nicole said to me that she had read it, and she and Tammy and a few others would offer their time if WSH won't commit someone, or if they won't commit someone overnight. She said they'd do anything to help Mom get better, or have a procedure that will help her feel better - they offered their services off-line. WOW. Also, I finally met with Dr Khalighi (about 7:30 PM) and he's truly kind and caring. We talked, and we're on the same page about doing what it takes to help Mom, and preferably not have her go to Hospital. Tomorrow she will have more tests, and despite her mixed results, and how it conflicts with her temperament (today she was very amiable and willing and philosophical and talkative) and we'll see what the tests show. It was brilliant watching how Dr K interacted with Mom -- he teased her some, and he also held her hand and stoked her ego. He wins points in my book. People honestly love and respect my Mom -- so much more than she ever got at HomePlace (except from a few caregivers). Our talk also is going to have us come 3 times this week in hopes of her eating and drinking food instead of just once a week when we come. Let's hope this works -- she looked very dehydrated and pale, but again she was lovely and engaging and "cruise director". But, despite her loving and caring, it truly felt like there was a huge disconnect on a new level, and I miss her in a different way. Let's hope that she will stay strong, and upbeat, and not need to go to hospital.
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