| This is our first visit with Mom after her stint at St Clair, aka medicalhellonearth, and my stomach crisis that sent me to the ER etc etc. Today I think I'm mostly ok - didn't have to add any pain meds, so that is goodness, and exhaustion turns to nervous energy when I feel "unheard" in the system or inneffectual or both - crap - if you could have seen the raw skin where they strapped her in her bed - actual restraints. I know at WSH restraints, physical, or via medicine is to be avoided - although I'm sure there are extreme cases where they must go to that dark place. If our State government chooses to impose certain guidelines and limitations, which strongly frown on Medical Facilities, specifically dementia (aka alzheimer's) patients, to restrain any patient against their will, such as tying both legs and arms to the bed, instead of trying other techniques such as attempting to redirect certain behaviour, and to make and take time to try to understand the reasonfor the patient's unpleasant behaviour. Even Medical sedation is discouraged. Homeplace also mentioned that part of their inability to get Mom's medicines in her system, was because they weren't allowed to "force" food, or "force medicine". IMO a part of their problem was being understaffed. HomePlace had one RN for 45 residents! This meant they didn't have anyone who would or could take time to keep coming back to Gerry with multiple attempts for her to take it. As I mentioned way back in my Mom's story, they couldn't make /take the time to keep her medicated with a minimum does, but always in her system, instead, they used one of the drugs as a "bandaid" to the pain or sadness or whatever mood. To this date, I perplexes me that they could manage to have Mom take her Rx, which not long before, they were unsuccessful. "Curiouser & Curiouser" as they say... Therefore, I imagined that St Clair would be under the same cautionary umbrella regarding a patient's wellbeing, dignity are care. It was not at all like that, at all. My poor Mom. She seemed pretty good and had only a flicker of memory of "something" when I pointed out her very raw arms, and the many attempts at getting an IV in. She touched it lightly and flinched in pain. Mom is very very agreeable when it comes to IV or a simple injection, but if a person keeps trying and trying and trying and trying within a 1/2" area, it starts to hurt her tender and [truly a technical term-->] "fragile skin". Concurrent with my own ER trip and desolation at having it recur - my stomach pain that forced me to scream despite myself, I feel shamed, but it was after such a long time, a year, of being safe from that, thanks to clear passage. Wow - definitely knocked me on my a! Since this most recent weekend, I can now start to see, after talking with many of the people involved, or on the peripheral, or in the medical field, just what could I do to change the way events unfolded [I didn't even get a call, as her DPOA, about their wanting to admit her...that could have been changed by us driving down and being her "voice" etc. and the noisy, squeaky wheel that makes sure she isn't over 15 hours with 0 drugs and 0 food re: her sugar dropping and diabetes. I also wouldn't have gotten the scare that implied that Mom was "not here" in a more ethereal way when I phoned from the ER, and no one knew who she was, then ooops, let me get my supervisor -- phew, just a room change! Hence, my latest "task" or "homework" -- I will see what I can do to try to identify each piece of the potentially dangerous issues, and offer suggestions on how to plug all those holes (not only at St Clair, but at WSH and the "hand-off"). The people I spoke to all seemed to be telling me that basically "sh happens", i.e. records get lost, such as from ambulance EMT to ER admission, ER admission (6 hour wait) to hospital admission. Another way to lose data, including specific to that case with my talk with a PA or MD or RN is when the people who are with Mom, they don't look at the chart, or history of her previous stays at St Clair that they have already, or the important words the PA, Randy and I talked about, nor do they even phone WSH for any verification. I also told Gerry's PA that Mom does not speak of pain unless it is really there, she has a strong threshold for pain. I mentioned her recent Rx start of Zyprexa, the timing is pretty good for a possible episode, and when he mentioned one test was to test to see if there was a heart issue, I mentioned that she JUST had an echo-cardiogram which should give sound data, that he could build upon, rather than redo each test. I also told him that Mom has Diabetes II, and that she hadn't eaten yet [this call was about 6:00PM]. I don't know if any of you ever ever experienced a blood sugar drop, but it is a hard strange disorienting feeling, which is frightening for anyone, but Mom's "base line" begins with fear and confusion, where she can't count on any of her learned skills of talking, or communicating, or how to phone someone, names are not her strong suit, nor what year, or time it is, and where her family is, even those who are now Dead. When an overnight stay for a transfusion was discussed, I had written a letter, along with many different phone calls, trying to put into place a plan that if Mom were to stay over somewhere, that we make sure we have a familar face, someone who was from WSH, to help navigate the bureacracy, and paper trail, at St Clair, often reminding them about typical care and "handling" Mom, and interpreting her "isms"; certain gestures, words, or behaviours and explaining what they typically mean...etc etc. In other words, simply offer Mom continuity from WSH to St Clair, with a familiar face, some history, some reminders etc. when someone doesn't check the records first, or loses them, or do whatever it is to avoid what got Mom into such a state...place of pain both physically and emotionally. And HALDOL? What were they thinking? They were not thinking at all.
Truly it brings up images of "The Snake Pit". And that is only one set of holes I need to try to plug, there is a lot of other things that have come to fore that I have to try to negotiate the best possible chance Mom will have when things like this happen. I love my Mother so much!!! She looked very pretty, and I got a lot of kisses and hugs. She adores Gordy, she loves to hold hands with him and get hugs. She likes the place setting, and the "centerpiece" of lights, and the music I bring, and the food -- mmm mmm goood. Kim came to work today and took Karla's last lemon square for the "good cause" -- Mom's delight and surpise. IT was the only dessert she ate in full. Thank you Ericksons! I have a double of her blue fuzzy bathrobe, and so we took home her dirty one - ugh - and she now will have the new one 'til the next time we come, and we'll switch out then. She's still beautiful, and still tries to be the hostess, and wants to take care of Gordy and me. She loves the visits, but my personal guilt eeks through -- hopefully prior and post visit ?!? I can't stand it. She still is light, and teases, and gossips, and laughs, and says nice things about Gordy or me. Each visit is unique. This visit, her arms looked like the "Aushwitz" Jew's arms - bones with some loose skin. And so very very bruised, raw, tender, and yet, her spirit is strong right now. She continues to amaze me. I miss her and want her back home with me, Gordy, and the kitties. Home Sweet Home!
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