| I visited the first AFH [Adult Family Home] today for consideration in placing Mom. I truly liked the people who run it -- they are lovely. They also have 3 kids (one is 3 y.o. which is Mom's totally squishing age ), and one resident has a cat that the family adopted!!! They have a lot of talent and experience, as well as a super attitude. BUT, there are things that make it not a "done deal". The main thing is that I can't really put myself in Mom's mind on this one. She had told me a long while ago, that she didn't want an AFH, she'd prefer a skilled nursing type of facility. But things have changed dramatically from that time. It is also, still off-island, albeit much closer than Lakewood [ugh!], and summer is coming up quickly, which still means up to a 3 boat wait most likely. Also, I can't drive it alone because of the energy the visit takes out of me, as well as the drive still being longer than I can handle in my current state of health. That can always improve, but I have to think of here and now. Also, being ferry dependent means that the problem still exists re: getting to her 24x7 since the ferry does stop working for some hours overnight. Also, the actual house is small, and definitely not Mom's style. But, I am not sure just what would bug her now, v. appease her. Certainly WSH is not her cuppa tea, but there is a lot of room for her to walk and /or pace, and different people she can play off of; both staff and other residents. Here, it's just 5 other residents, 3 men, 2 women, and the caregiver on shift. Of course, the owners will both be involved and accesible. Her bedroom is dark, the "view" nasty, but we could prolly put some bird feeders up, and maybe put a potted plant out there for her enjoyment and camouflage. We'd also put her stuff in her room to try to personalize it, but it's a dark room nonetheless. And, the floors outside the Bedroom are hardwood. But, these are lovely people who seem to really care and "get it". That's huge!!! Nick is an LPN which is fabulous. Sabla has worked in an alzheimer's place for many years, and she's a doll and very pretty (which Mom will love! I can hear her now, touching her face, and telling Sabla, "you have beautiful skin!"). But is this the one? The right one? The best one? I can't imagine making Mom change into a new place more than this one time. It would truly be horrific for her. So, my game plan is that the place I select is the best and final place. There lies the worse part of the conundrum. I truly believe it would be horrible for Mom to have to acclimate to one more place, but two is prohibitive. So what do I do? What is the right choice?
Sending smart vibes my way will be greatly appreciated! Peace!
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