Watch the 47th Grammy's and look for DVR's Wife and Producer, Andrea Vuocolo Vanronk, and our beloved Christine Lavin [who helped edit it] February 13, 2005 8PM on CBS.
William Valdez is our Son-in-Law Extrodinaire. You can support our troops via this site, and support William, personally, if you wish. His TFT ID is 1862195 Thank you!
Scooter Alert! I know, everyone is probably writing this down somewhere, or reading it somewhere, but this is too good to not post myself!
Washingtonpost.com Cheney Adviser Indicted in CIA Leak Probe I. Lewis 'Scooter' Libby Resigns After Announcement
By William Branigin, Carol D. Leonnig and Christopher Lee Washington Post Staff Writers Friday, October 28, 2005; 1:39 PM
A federal grand jury today indicted Vice President Cheney's chief of staff, I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, after a two-year investigation into the leak of a CIA agent's identity but spared -- at least for now --President Bush's top political strategist, Karl Rove.
Libby was indicted on charges of perjury, obstruction of justice and making false statements. The five-count indictment charged that he gave misleading information to the grand jury, allegedly lying about information he discussed with three news reporters. It alleged that he committed perjury before the grand jury in March 2004 and that he also lied to FBI agents investigating the case.
Shortly after the indictment was announced, Libby resigned his White House positions.
The indictment of Libby, 55, was presented in court today by the special counsel in the case, Patrick J. Fitzgerald, as the grand jury's term expired. Although no indictment was announced for Rove, 54, the White House deputy chief of staff, today's proceedings did not remove him from legal jeopardy. Sources close to the case said the investigation of Rove is continuing.
continue reading here . . . Although the focus has been on Rove and Libby, Cheney himself has been publicly implicated in recent days in the chain of events that led to the exposure of Plame. The New York Times reported Monday that Fitzgerald possesses notes taken by Libby showing that he learned about Plame from the vice president a month before she was identified by Novak. The White House did not dispute the report.
Two lawyers involved in the case said Fitzgerald apparently has been aware of Libby's June 12, 2003, conversation with Cheney since the early days of his investigation.
Cheney told NBC's Russert in September 2003 that he did not know Wilson or who sent him on the trip to Africa.
Around the same time, White House spokesman Scott McClellan said any suggestion that Rove was involved in the leak was "ridiculous." McClellan said President Bush has set "the highest of standards" for his administration and that if any officials were involved in the leak, "they would no longer be in this administration."
Asked in June 2004 whether he would fire anyone who leaked Plame's name, Bush replied in the affirmative.
But in July this year, Bush appeared to add a qualifier, telling reporters he would dismiss anyone who "committed a crime" in the case. The White House refused to clarify whether an indictment would trigger termination, or if that would require a conviction.
During the investigation, Fitzgerald sought grand jury testimony from several journalists who had spoken with administration officials about Plame, and he came down hard on those who refused to cooperate.
The federal judge in the case, Thomas F. Hogan, ordered the New York Times's Miller held for contempt for refusing to identify a confidential source, and she spent 85 days in jail in Alexandria, Va., before agreeing to testify about conversations with Libby. Although she did not write an article about the case, Miller interviewed Libby about the Plame matter and promised him anonymity. Miller said she agreed to testify when Libby specifically and personally released her from the confidentiality pledge.
Yes it has broke through. Very sad and scary. I thought we had found a magic bullet, Rx combo, and I still think it's way better than before, but yesterday -- dammit!
So, the past 2 weeks I have been feeling wonky in my tum, even tossed my "cookies" a few times, but the pain was pretty much not around. So a piece of the puzzle was tamed...or so I thought. On Tuesday, I had complained of some pain, like fingernails scratching at the inside of my stomach, but it was not a major debilitator, just a cautionary thing that made me eat very cautiously and not very much of it.
Then, yesterday. Damn. It was pain! I took stadol, phazyme, tums, phenergan, and fasted. This AM I had some cream of wheat, so we'll see if it's history or not, but yesterday, it was scary stuff to have it return. On the plus side, it was not so bad that I ended up in the ER! Yay! But it was enough to put the family on "defcom alert" that it might happen. Oh, yes, there was a very weird symptom(?) to add to the new incarnation of this stomach thang -- it is deep deep hunger pangs. Go figure.
I know that my emotions and stresstuff is contributing to it, because it was a very emotional time with Marilyn yesterday, and I believe that the session, and all the unwanted truths I had to face, put my dicey tum over the edge during, and later on apex'd, the day /night.
So, let's hope that THAT was the worse I'll ever feel again re: the mysterious stomach thang now living under the IBS umbrella. I can live with that, especially if I know it won't get to ER phase w/my self-medication. Toes and fingers are crossed big time!!!!!
All good vibes and energy and prayers are welcomed! Peace. ##
FINALLY got results on my MRI of both wrists from Jimenez' office.
First, I got reprimanded by Sardah (sp?) for leaving so many messages for her.
Well, Dang! If she didn't say she'd phone me back later that day (Monday), and I wasn't so anxious about to surge or not to surgury, and having anxiety and fear of even MORE dis-abled, and if everything else in the queue didn't depend on scheduling this etc. etc. ad nauseum, well, then just MAYBE I wouldn't leave so many messages for her which, apparently, you believe I do just to annoy and make your life miserable? ARGH!!!!! And, FWIW, a simple phone call saying that it's taking longer than you anticipated, but you haven't forgotten me, would have gone a long way to keeping me from phoning and presuming I got lost and forgotten yet again!
So, I got news.
The MRI showed it wasn't the nerves, but ganglion cysts on both wrists, and degenerative osteoarthritis on the left wrist -- but Carpal Tunnel surgery is still indicated to relieve symptoms. So...I dunno. Of course she couldn't answer any questions I had, especially ones about why surgery -- i.e. if it's not a nerve thing. She also asked who MY surgeon was (didn't read my file did she with all that anger at my calling her back), and I informed her that THEY were to recommend one, and set it up. She then looked further in my chart and found the name of the surgeon, and gave ME the phone number to call directly. Er, insurance doesn't work that way! She also said that they prolly will do both wrists at once! which I said I can't do because of my need for some mobility and Mom and stuff...etc. etc.
So -- I'm looking up these new Medical verbiage, and finding mixed reviews, and not at all feeling too warm and fuzzy about it because, guess what folx, looks like I have found another one...yessiree, yet another "We don't know what causes it, and for treatment, well, some find this helpful, or this surgery helpful, but no matter what is done, it can come back anyway.
Oy!
So. I keep on looking. I have an appointment with Dr Jimenez on the 3rd, and hopefully he can explain this to me more cogently, as if speaking to the 5 year old brain I currently have. They would not let me have a phone session with him, so it will be yet another exhausting trip physically, and yes, emotionally. Let's keep on draining the body /mind /psyche until I totally break down, eh?
ON THE BRIGHTER SIDE!!!!
I just saw my new favorite flick! Yessiree, another Bruce Campbell flim...it is fantastic!!! I can't wait to hear the commentary over it later on. I am so delighted to add this to my DVD library...brilliant!
So name the DVD, right? :
BUBBA HO-TEP
My brand new favorite flick...!
Rent or but this -- but realize it is a tad different that previous works of his in that although the humor is still there, and action, and chemistry, and adventure and sci-fi, there is a great deal of heart and drama too. Good stuff! ##
Today has been an (almost) rock-bottom day but not totally there yet, but close.
I'm on the verge of a breakdown, nay, more to the point, I'm in the process of it. Today's session with Marilyn highlighted just how lost I am, and how much I am NOT functioning at this point of my life.
It is debilitating to just "be".
This isn't a pity-party entry -- au contraire, I don't have the umph to eek out an "oh woe is me...". I just am cried out, used up, fought-out (nope, no word from the atty. yet no matter the emails, the retainer, the signed forms, the phone calls -- nope, no word from my Rheum's office, no matter the many calls, re: the MRI, and to surger- or not surgery -- nope, no from US Bank re: their holding up for 5 more days the annuity that was surrendered -- nope, not able to look at places for Mom to live, to cull them out yet because if they ask questions, I don't have the answers yet because the atty hasn't contacted me...and so on and obladi-oblada yada yada yada & la di da!).
I just hurt (therefore I'm alive?) but have severely blown my "head gasket" and soul gasket? and heart gasket and a tisket a tasket? I need help here. And, to boot, the money just keeps on flowing out and my nest egg just keeps getting smaller and smaller and smaller with no forseeable way to refill the coffers.
..and I'm just so tired sad lost ineffectual impotent blue n dragon... ##
Inventions: Sex drive patch to sideways bike Mon Oct 24, 2005 11:10 AM ET By Jeremy Lovell
LONDON (Reuters) - From a scented patch to boost a woman's sex drive to a bicycle that travels sideways, the weird, wonderful and wacky were out in force at the British Invention Show on Saturday.
Inventor Liz Paul claims that her Scentuelle -- a tiny transparent patch that exudes dopamines and is worn by a woman on her wrist to recharge her sexual battery -- is just what today's stressed and multi-tasking females need.
"Men have Viagra, now we women have this," she told Reuters at the show in north London's Alexandra Palace. "Research has shown that 35 percent of women have problems with their libido."
At the other end of the scale she also has a patch that might not be quite so welcomed by women as it blocks cravings for chocolate -- regarded by many women to be as good as sex.
Elsewhere in the show -- and somewhat less discreet or even portable -- is a giant appliance called The Egg which offers a full body massage at the same time as aroma therapy and relaxing music.
"Step in stressed and emerge 15 minutes later a new person," said Cathy Morris. "We have had enquiries from business and even some home individuals interested in installing one at home."
But sensuality was not all that was on offer, Brent Simon waxed lyrical about his coolbag that behaves like a fridge, Roark McMaster showed off his rubber hat that keeps cut cucumbers fresh and Lewis Kirkbride had a new take on umbrellas.
Reza Kahouli even offered to make it rain -- or stop raining -- in just 15 minutes if someone would let him have an aircraft.
At the simple end of the spectrum, Mike Minton was deeply proud of his hand-held device that pre-cuts toast soldiers for dipping into soft-boiled eggs.
"Look," he said. "Straight edges and no crumbs every time."
But perhaps the wackiest invention was Michael Killian's SidewaysBike -- a contraption with a single handlebar at either end and a saddle in the middle that he described as the bicycling equivalent of snowboarding.
"The beauty of this is that it has absolutely no purpose except fun," he said with a broad smile.
Doris (Gordy's Mom) is finally home! The surgery went very well, but she had some issues that required her to end up at Virginia Mason 2 nights after all. She's home now, and she sounds wonderful!
As I believe I mentioned in an earlier post, I had never heard Doris sound blue, angry, wry, funny, earnest, but blue? not so much -- but Sunday before the surgery, she did.
She confessed her being nervous to me, and her just wanting it behind her. I'm happy to say that it now is!!! Yay!
On the downside, last night she mentioned that there is discussion about her going to a "home" and that she plans to stay in her little apartment as long as she can!!!! So it will be a toughie on the Coale side too (and at the same time makes it "so special" -- ugh!).
I truly love Doris, and so hoped she might consider the facilities on the Island, maybe have a familiar face (i.e. Gerry and she in the same place) but it won't happen that way. Terry has been her care-giver for all this time, surely he'll want her close by now.
But, Doris came through the surgery with flying colors, and no pain even!!! Attawoman Doris! ##
Bad Day. Kim, Mom and I went to Dr Waite's, and he told Mom that she has to get help /i.e. go to an Adult Family Home, or Assisted Living, or Center of some sort full time.
Mom can't recall things that are new more than a few seconds, but this was such a shock to her psyche, that she actually held on to the ACTUAL memory for about 5+/- hours! As you can imagine, it was a cry-fest for us ladies, and even Leslie, Dr Waite's Nurse, welled up and hugged Mom a lot.
She has no idea how easy it is for people to fall in love with her and want to be near her. She has such an impact on people, she's so sparkly and fun and funny -- so absolutely Gerry.
This news hurts on so many levels -- I'm not ready at all. ##
I imagine for most, this isn't new, but I just learned from Gordy that if you do search on the word "failure" in Google, George Bush's bio is the first entry.
The follow-up day with Mom and Cheryl didn't work out at all. There was no connection, and no real understanding of what makes Mom tick, so I don't think that she will be a good candidate as companion for Mom.
Cheryl is more my type of person, direct and up front. Mom prefers a person who will chat-her-up, and "play the game" and be charming and ease Mom into performing tasks, and respect Mom and give her credit as an Adult. This didn't happen. Dang.
I hope we get a better match this week before Mom says absolutely_under_no_circumstances_I_don't_care_about_your_upcoming_surgery NO!
aghhhhhhhh! My toes and fingers are crossed big time! ##
Events du jour or how about the last 24+/- hours...!
First, yesterday went without major magnetic incident -- BUT, they were running late, and I was admitted into the area an hour late (ugh) and then the actual MRI ended up taking 2.5 hours!!! Ouch! Suffice to say I'm out of sorts today, and need some R&R to recuperate. Maybe later today?
That is all the detail I'll share, but for those that may need to make a decision re: MRI open or closed, I want you to know that there are factors that they may not explain fully.
For future reference, I now know that there is some degradation when using an "open" MRI v. a closed one, so that the procedure takes longer to get a good image. So, depending on the machine and calibration, what took 1.25 hours each hand, might take 20 minutes each hand in a closed system.
Now, what isn't apparent in the open MRI, is that depending on what part(s) of your anatomy is being scanned, one might (as I was in this case) find their head directly under the "dome" and have the feeling of a closed machine. I had to close my eyes and tell myself to breathe and pretend it was more open than it actually was.
A closed system has a fan that can remotely be turned on by the tech, and the audio system is in the machine as well. The open one relied on the "boom box" method and a standing fan.
They each have their pros and cons, and I recommend you weigh them before choosing, and now I know some of the right questions to ask, and how to ask them.
//////////////////// Today was day one with someone coming in to meet with Mom as companion,aide /care-giver.
I liked her! She is also a "cat-lady" which is always a plus -- therefore, no judgement re: my care of Zach and Olivia .
She and Mom seemed fine, and I left them to get to no eachother. They were in her room, and Gordy and I went upstiars.
I heard Mom's voice raised. Then I heard drawers SLAMMED. Then I cringed and played the old tapes in my psyche of tantrums past, and hiding so she wouldn't notice me...shhhhhhhhh.
I debated if I should go down or not. I decided that either Mom or Cheryl would get me if they needed interference. It was a very VERY tough choice, but I figured if they were to fork at all, they had to work it out between them.
Then A bit later, Cheryl comes up, we chatted. I find out the source of Mom's anger and distress. I will not share this part, suffice to say Mom was embarassed and felt pushed and /or threatened in some way. This caused her to lash out and not do well, but she listened to some of what Cheryl wanted her to do, and did it, albeit grudgingly.
I offer to Cheryl that she might want to take a different tact on part "B" of what she wanted Mom to do by soothing her, letting her get her dignity back, be gentle with her and "encouraging" and "coaching" her to do part "B", even though Cheryl is correct.
Apparently they did have a reconciliation, and hopefully part "B" will be accomplished tomorrow when she returns! Thank god /dess she is coming back, and that they have worked out the "bone of contention". I am thrilled that they both gave it a chance. I even heard Mom later apologize for being curt to her (understatement, but I'll chalk it up to memory problems -- she at least remembered it!).
Phew!
Tomorrow we have a session with Dr Little who, FINALLY, is back! YAY!!! I dunno, the Doctors these days ... taking (much needed) vacations...the gall! ;-)
BTW, Dr Little phoned us immediately when he came back to work! He's so caring!
So...Cheryl will be back tomorrow, catching up with us after we return from the appointment. I hope they bond some more.
Next week, unfortunately, Cheryl will be on vacation, the first in 5 years -- oy! Timing is, if not everything, a heckuva lot!
This is a start, I hope. [Especially in anticipation of my upcoming surgery] Happy Healthy New Year -- and a year of Peace! ##
Open Letter to Bill and Marsi who sell slot machines (among other ventures and artstuff...)
"So many lovely machines, so many memories to be recalled; the pull of the "arm", and hoping to do it "just right" -- with that magic combination of wishes and tension that would result in the sound of the coins dropping -- and bells ringing -- to see the belly of the machine get more and more full, pregnant with coins, knowing that this is, really, I just KNOW it, the "right" pull (..I think)!
Oh, it was such a tangible joy on family driving to Fla. from CT, my home way back when, leaving, oh so early in the AM, during school break (occasionally taking one extra day off early to miss the throng of cars heading south--what a bonus!).
Dad is behind the wheel, not letting Mom drive. The family rotating "shot-gun" seat (i.e. keeping Dad awake....) and then the stop for lunch, or coffee in MD? was it? where they allowed slot machines!!! Early on, we'd sneak in under our parent's girth to sneak a pull at the machine, later we passed, or were of age..until they (Maryland) closed it down and the slots were taken away, leaving only Las Vegas as a place to try the notorious, yet sublime, one arm bandit.
By the time I managed to get to Vegas, the machines had changed so much to have been rendered without thrill or charm, or the closeness one feels communing with the gears, it was now blind luck and all lights and noise and no charm or finesse. By this time, the only game I'd play with any joy was blackjack.
But, Bill, as long as I can remember, I've been wanting one (a slot machine) sooooo badly I can taste the metal of the coins ready to take a chance -- and your machines are beauties!
Now, that the "net" has made this longing renew itself, hope springs eternal...! Were that I can afford one of your beauties?
Please send me the pricing on your machines, and I hope I will be able to work something out with you. I do live on Whidbey Island, WA now, so the shipping may be a bear. Please keep me posted! And keep up your good work restoring these bits of time-travel machines. ##
Some Gems of Yesteryear...:
This is actually a portable one! It's called the "Vestpocket"
More news to think about... before my MRI tomorrow.
I am scheduled to have both my wrists Imaged Magnetically before the best and final re: surgery on both, re: severe Carpal Tunnel Syndrome in both, lucky moi. Originally it was to be at WGH, until speaking with the Tech, they said I have to be on my tummy (oh so NOT comfy w/my breasts still tender, especially the left one re: biopsies earlier this year) and just pain in general. And, why I couldn't face up (breathing is good, right) in the claustrophobic space, 'cuz wouldn't the 360 degree image still be essentially the same wrist up v. wrist down? is beyond me, but their word was final.
So, instead, I'm going to Everett Clinic where they have an "open" MRI. It will still me on my tummy, but at least, it appears that I have more "moving room"? We'll see, and I'll let y'all know.
Open MRI
BUT, as I searched the net for snaps of an "open" MRI, I ran across a site that has asst snaps, some are seen below. At first I laughed along side w/Gordy, then, tonight, I started thinking, hmmmmm, just recently I had 3 markers put in, one very close to the top of my breast, the nipple, yikes! What material do they use? I hope it's not magnetic!!
Well, first article I've found, it sounds like it is magnetic! Yikes! What a scary image!
I'll phone on the morrow, and also look up more info on materials they use for the markers.
...but, until I know further what's up, "enjoy" my nightmare !
Once you've been in the MRI field for any length of time, you start hearing all of the various horror stories about things that have flown into a scanner. Often, newcomers don't take the real danger of flying objects seriously until they witness an oxygen tank or gurney flying into a magnet themselves. This page will contain a collection of pictures and stories of metalic projectiles. Please show this page to all MRI newcomers, for their own safety and the safety of their patients!
Please send any pictures and/or stories you have to moriel@simplyphysics.com. Let me know if you don't mind having your name posted with the picture/story or if you would rather remain anonymous (out of embarrassment?)
For FAR MORE information on MRI safety issues, I recommend you go to Dr. Frank Shellock's site www.MRIsafety.com [note: I had to sign up to access the site, but there was no really scary questions, and no refusals --zoe].
Chair (solo) IV Stand Floor Cleaner Look closely -- the chair isn't alone...
...again? Yes, again. Just when I was feeling as if there was hope from the Zelnorm, I've been weird "gut-wise" for about 1+ weeks, but, although the intensity of pain wasn't here, tonite I "lost it" physically.
Small wonder with the emotional disaster of today...but, nonetheless, I heaved and that was the "coup de gras" of a "typical" abdominal episode.
..so dammit, on top of it all, here we go again....NFW -- not now. Jeeze, what about that saying where universe goes around giving only what a person can handle and nothing more? C'mon -- play the game fair -- read the rule book! ##
Hearing about Marilyn losing her Mom, has hurt and shook the universe on so many levels. Were that I were able to help her...it is my wish, she has helped so many times I've been on the brink, but I just can't cross that "therapy" line.
It also speaks to the fragility of my Mom and our relationship, and the reality that Alz will end in her leaving this earthly plane -- and I don't want to face this....
Marilyn, please feel my heart's care and embrace and go easily and gently forward with care. ##
Today I am ready to call "uncle"... yet this crossed my path & I thought I'd share...?
Overcoming Obstacles Nothing Is Insurmountable
When our next best course of action seems unclear, any dilemmas we face can appear insurmountable. Yet there is nothing we cannot overcome with time, persistence, focused thought, help, and faith. Whatever the situation or problem, there is always a solution. And if you remember to look within, even as you search around you for the "right" course of action, you will be able to center yourself, clear your mind, and see that nothing has to be impossible.
The first step in overcoming any obstacle is to believe that it can be overcome. Doing so will give you the strength and courage to move through any crisis. The second step is to make a resolution that you can prevail over any chaos. Enlist your support network of family and friends if necessary. The more minds there are to consider a problem, the more solutions can be found. Don't discount ideas just because they seem impractical or "unrealistic," and don't keep searching for the "best" alternative. Often there is no "best" choice, there is only a choice to make so we can begin moving beyond whatever is obstructing our path. At the very least, making a choice, even if isn't the ideal one, can give you a sense of peace before you have to figure out what your next course of action will be.
If you feel overwhelmed by the scope of your troubles, you may want to think of other people who have turned adversity into triumph. We often gain a fresh perspective when we remember others who have overcome larger obstacles. It can be inspiring to hear of their victories, helping us remember that there is always light at the end of every tunnel. It is during our darkest hours that we sometimes need to remind ourselves that we don't have to feel helpless. You have within and around you the resources to find a solution to any problem. And remember that if a solution or choice you make doesn't work, you are always free to try another. Believe that you can get through anything, and you will always prevail.
Second FDA Official Resigned Over Plan B Delays A second official at the Food and Drug Administration has announced that he resigned in September, due to delays in approving the emergency contraceptive Plan B for over-the-counter status.
Old news, but worth a reprint in my opinion. I was following health links just now, and ran across this again, and it hit me upside the head (again) as important re: health, and the stoooopid medicare stuff that Bush passed, and I'm wrestling through for me and Mom, and the slow passing of Rx (w/out major restrictions placed on the potentially wonder-wonderfully freeing) pain replacement drug "Bupe" Buprenorphine, and the long time coming of Paragaboline, and the slow slow slow removal of Vioxx and other nasty things health related and well-being related, thanks to the "machine" of big business....!
FDA Commissioner Resigns Suddenly
September 25, 2005
After serving as Food and Drug Administration (FDA) commissioner for two months, Lester Crawford on Friday announced his resignation. Crawford, who served as acting commissioner for more than a year prior to being confirmed, wrote in his resignation letter that “it is time at the age of 67 to step aside.” Christina Pearson, a spokesperson for Health and Human Services Secretary Michael Leavitt, would not answer questions from reporters about whether the Bush Administration had asked Crawford to resign, saying she could not comment on “a personnel issue,” according to the New York Times.
Susan Wood, director of the FDA’s Office on Women’s Health, had just resigned several weeks ago in protest over the FDA placing politics above medical science in its decision making process on over-the-counter status for emergency contraception (EC). Senators Hillary Clinton (D-NY) and Patty Murray (D-WA) had blocked Crawford’s confirmation until Leavitt agreed to take action on EC by September 1, but then a week before the deadline Crawford and Leavitt double-crossed the Senators and announced another delay on EC.
Dr. Andrew C. von Eschenbach, director of the National Cancer Institute, will serve as interim FDA commissioner.
Ok, this post will destroy any credibility I may have earned re: film-making and criticism (yes my college major at U Ha Art and U B Cinema) -- but I LOVE THIS FILM (yes, film not movie -- a distinction most would not agree with) called "50 First Dates".
Maybe it's because I am dealing with a mother with Alzheimer's, or maybe because I had such low expectations before I watched this, but, this film had meat!!!
I love Drew Barrymore flicks, and I was so pleasantly surprised by Adam Sandler's very sweet performance (but not sugary sweet). It is a fairy tale, a twist on how to make an impossible situation possible. Romance. Good tunes, including one of my major favorite song of all times, IZ In Concert
"Over The Rainbow", performed by Israel Kamakawtwo'ole
so, I say go for it -- rent it, and if you have a loved one with alz, it may be an antidote for those oh so hopeless days when the blues are the good feeling of the day.
And the idea of making someone falling in love with you every day all over again...*sigh* and, like the "Wedding Singer", Drew and Adam do have chemistry that translates to the screen.
Today was eventful in a progressing sort of way. Although still getting the run-around in the Oak Harbor office, and being made to feel like *I'm* lacking, or wrong (similar to the early days of looking for a Dx for FMS back in '89, and the subsequent fights for belief and getting respect), I at least heard from Dr Jimenez' office.
Yes, both hands require surgery, the neurologist's tests prove that, yes, it is very bad Carpal Tunnel Syndrome on both wrists, and I need surgery. One last gulp, is that I will have an MRI done on both wrists. I doubt it will change the prognosis, but it will at least put a period on it, I'll have exhausted all avenues, and it will provide the surgeon with more data. I will contact the tomorrow at WGH, after they will have received the orders for same.
The next step is to find a hand surgeon that Dr Jimenez recommends, and that takes my insurance.
This, of course, has expedited the need to get help at home for Mom. A companion.
I spoke to the wonderful people at Home Health Care, and Karla gave me to referrals to get help. One, I've used before, and liked very much in Oak Harbor, but when I phoned, I couldn't reach the home office, so after multiple tries, I tried the south end one, Whidbey Island Nursing, and spoke to Ruth.
Methinks that the universe was a play here, because Ruth just simply "got it"! When I told her what *I* was hoping to get for Mom, but was not sure if this is what she really needs, or what they could provide, she was just SO very kind and empathetic and so 180 degrees from the treatment received from the O.H. office where Dr Waite now is. I felt soothed, and if they can do that for e, I can only be hopeful that this caring could be transferred for my Mother's benefit.
Unexpectedly, I started to tear up on the phone with Ruth, and she offered sympathy without being syrupy and fake. And, at the words that "You mean just love her up?" I lost control and cried with happiness that there could be hope.
What I'm looking for as of now, is a person for the AM to ensure Mom gets showers, help with laundry (Mom doesn't feel good about mixing ours together) and light cleaning, maybe cooking together a lunch, and trips to the stores, or for ice cream or coffee, i.e. some independence and freedom for her, or more to the point, seemingly independence. And a person to chat with and trust and her very "own" companion.
Also, in the evening, for about 2 or so hours, someone to help calm Mom down and get her to sleep and have her feel safe.
All this is doable according to Ruth.
Dare to dream?
With my upcoming surgery /debilitation, I will need to rely on someone to offer her safety and care, and a voice and a feeling of being important and independent. Despite the emotional drain that this illness does to a person, between paranoia and depression and mourning the loss of funtionality. I hope that my expectations aren't too high, and that they will make her feel better about herself.
Tall order for a companion /caregiver, but I so very hope...!
I talk to Linda tomorrow, and we'll see if /when we can start the process. It will be pricey, but if it works, absolutely priceless. And poor Gordy will have to help me during my recovery, so this is going to be a very "interesting" household.
As of this afternoon, Mom was willing to have someone come, but I'm sure this will change by the minute. But, we are going forward, and that is something. ##
The physical pain has been excrutiating! When I take a sleeping pill, even it can't cut through the pain to let me get some blessed sleep and respite. That's tough pain.
It's sort of like when I first had FM (Fibromyalgia) and was knocked on my ass, before I took any medicine for the symptoms. Add to that the new joys of both hands being tres CTS (Carpal Tunnel Syndrome) "extreme" as the neurologist determined after using that torture device to test my nerve response, and you gots big pain! I find it hard to make it as important as it is in my life right now, the words just don't express it's intensity.
I don't know if this is a new "phase" and cumulation of all my TLA (three letter acrony) Dx and their repercussion, or, more hopefully, just due to the seasonal changes, i.e. the barometer is changing constantly, and there was always an impact on my pain levels when this happens. At least if it's seasonal, then "this too shall pass" (sore toes and warped fingers are crossed).
But, this is a whole new level of agony! Happy new year, eh?
I put a call in to my Rheum, to find out about whether he got info from Gierkhe, or not, and whether I should get the MRI on my hands, and /or surgery based on the findings.
There is also a call into my GP, to see if he has any thoughts on how to get me through this relatively less difficulty. Leslie said "have you taken a warm bath?", er, I guess I haven't stated my case clearly enough if that sounds like a resolution.
Now, Momstuff. Last night she was so frightened like a deer in the headlights. She was scared frozen. She was ready to run away, but had no idea where to go, or how to imagine where was "safe". She thought hospitalization even, she was just that terrified. She wanted relief, a place to go where it was ok again for her, methinks she just wanted to go back into the past, when Dad and she were living here, together, and she was just simply cared for and loved again without any work. Their relationship had gotten that good. Were that I could make it so....
She's very bad now memory wise, but it's so fortunate that she still knows Gordy and me so far (knock wood). And, her bad memory, while it kills me as it happens, and as we knock heads re: her care (I *took* that pill already! I already Showered! I haven't eaten yet! I did NOT do that! I just DID that. etc etc and the repetition and the repetition and the... ad nauseum) I am ever so thankful that it can work in her favor!!!
An example, she really wanted out of living here last night (BTW, while she was here in my room, she, of course, believed she lived elsewhere (unknown to her, but a nebulous elsewhere) and could not even recall the layout of my house) this AM, as a way to honor her, I asked if she still was considering wanting to leave here, and find a different place, a "safer" place to live, but she forgot all of the angst of last night, and said why? here is just fine. So all the dust settled (yet I haven't...things stay with me).
Gordy and Mom are back. ## [and looks like my "shadow" is back...stuck to me and way too close physically in my "personal space" and as ever, intrusive -- my kingdom for some healthy privacy!?!]
Just looking for snaps to put into my address book, and ran across our goodbye snaps taken July 24th, when the Valdez' left on their trek to CO. We miss them tons, Jenny, William, Robyn & Evan!
A (newly) Nostalgic Shot of Our Amazing Men, Billiamdear & Shnookums
Today is Mike's 6th Birthday!!! Pretty amazing...as is Mikey. Here are some b'day snaps:
Katie & Mike The Prezzie -- a Trike for ...er, Mom, that's Michael's! Le Cake! [see the footsteps?] I Wish (really really hard...)!!!!! Cakefest -- (and ice cream) Katie, Gordy, Mike & Gerry (my Mom) You have to be a part of the family to really understand this one..but suffice it's Martial Arts au Gillman/Coale
I'm watching and enjoying so incredibly much, on PBS, "No Direction Home: Bob Dylan". And one of the more brilliant bits is where Dylan admits to using DVR's (Dave Van Ronk's) chords /pacing of "House of the Rising Son" and it's intersperced with an interview with Dave, where he said "Bobby asked me if he could use if for his first record, and I told him I was about to for my record, so I was sorry, no, and he said 'Ut Oh!'".
He then told how he couldn't sing it anymore, because people would say, "your'e singing Bobby's song", so it was very very annoying, [and Dave laughed! and went on to tell that...] later when The Animals came out with it using "Bobby's" [re: Dave Van Ronk's] rendition of it, that he (Bob Dylan) couldn't sing it any more because people accused him (Dylan) of ripping off the Animal's rendition...[and again Dave chuckles his gruff, sweet laugh].
[please to forgive my use of quotes from the flick that may not be exact, but I have no access to the actual dialogue]
So, this is a fine "chronicle" and seems to be truthful documentary on the time (before I was born...and into my consciousness as I grew up) of Bob Dylan, MacDougal Street, Ginsberg, Kerouac et al down in Greenwich Village, NYC.
...and, I just can't WAIT until we get to the Newport Jazz Festival...I hope it covers it! Oh, the scandal when he went "electric" LOL - now it is considered ground-breaking. Love it!
They will probably be repeating this, I don't see how they can not -- so look to your local PBS listings if you have any interest in this slice of history and music.
American Masters PBS No Direction Home: Bob Dylan Directed by Martin Scorsese
We salute the Grammy nomination of the late great
Dave Van Ronk's final concert album: 
