|
|
|
|
Wednesday November 30 2005
|
|
Here's the latest about hands and wrists. I like Dr Fuhs. He is incredibly wry and human. Always a plus when dealing with someone who may be cutting you open. The MRI was there as we planned for him to look at, unfortunately, the chart notes from Gierke were not there, despite my calls and signing forms. Hum bug. His main data was stating that the tendency of the people reading the MRI and x-rays is to OVER-read to make sure they get it all. Then it is cross checked with other films, or by the specialist (i.e. Dr Fuhs) to then cull out what info isn't viable. So, he wasn't big on the ganglion cysts, and seemed to think that the nature of them really don't require a lot of attention as they tend to come and go on their own. So for now, we leave it be. He did some poking and moving and gripping and such, and decided that for now, the Right Hand is ok as is, use hot and /or cold as needed and the splint. For the Left Hand, he decided to go for an injection of steroids, which he felt would help cull out all the stress and FMSstuff and IBS and other things, and would prove the point that CTS surgery would help, if after 3 days, it seems to feel much better, remission? of a sort, for 3 months or so. If it should help, and it later recur, at that time we can choose whether to do another injection, or surgery. So, right now, my hand is totally wrecked /numb /especially the ring finger -- oddness. I also have a bump /bulge? where the injection is /was. So, I hope for some relief soonest. As I said, I liked him a lot. And any surgeon that doesn't think surgery is the first line of action, gets my vote, as they are a thinking individual!
## PS after much ado this AM with Mom crying and fearful about staying with Kim v. coming with Gordy and me, well, our Kim has come through for us again, and made it a nice day for Mom. Thank you Kim. You're an amazing woman, and a dear dear friend. {{{hugs}}}
06:29 PM - link - |
|
Thanksgiving was a warm and fuzzy one yesterday. The usual suspects were not all present, but it was really a nice time. It was a push to go for me, but I'm glad I did. It was great to see Doris -- the first time since her surgery. She apparently also pushed to be there. I'm so glad she did. Some snaps from the day follow:
Where's Mike?
Katie said that Mike picked his outfit out, and they had just been there recently, so he planned it!
Doris! Matriarch Coale
Mom! Matriarch Gillman
Doris Gordy Madelane
Hannah Michael appended to Cameron next to Chantal
When in the presence of Mom, always revert to being 5 years old!
Roger Madelane Doris (Mom) Gordy
##
11:06 PM - link - |
|
I finally made up the daily activity sheet for my Mom, and sent it to Gordy to print (nopers, I've not got all of my peripherals attached to my back up computer). The intent is to try to avoid the increasingly nonsensical arguments that happen all of the time. Lately, Mom's frustration has escalated to tantrums bordering on abuse. Lucky for Gordy, he doesn't have buttons Mom can find, but, alas, she created my buttons so they are pushed...HARD! She also has emoted in ways where she almost makes herself sick; shouting, gritting teeth, and pounding on the table, trying to make her reality a universal truth. How horrible it is for her to have us not give in to her beliefs re: important issues, like medicine taken, showers, etc. She also has been doing a new thing where she forgets she ate, so she feels upset with us for not feeding her, and then after letting her know she did eat, she gets angry that we have a different memory. Unfortunately, we're still stupid enough to try to reason with her. We try to remind her of her meals et al, yet tell her that it's no biggie, she can have more food. Why we feel this is something *we* need to do, since we are the ones who are aware that she's ill and doesn't know any better, so we should adjust our reality, I don't quite know. Maybe is has to do with our need to be believed and trusted too. Our reality counts too. It's frustration all around. Anyway, I have done the initial draft of sheet, I've posted it here for others to use as a template for modification if they wish. The theory is that we can avoid conflict by having both Mom and [me or Gordy or Kim or...] whomever tick off the box next to the activity as proof that the action was done, or not. The intent is that this way we can prove to eachother something happened or not. I'm keeping all of my digits crossed in hopes that this helps. I'll keep y'all posted on this re: success or not.
##
05:28 PM - link - |
|
Hooray! Finally I got a name for a surgeon who WILL take me -- and, Dr Jimenez' #1 choice is the same name as Marilyn got for me way back when, so I feel it is fortuitous. His name is Stephen Fuhs of the Seattle Hand Surgery Group! I have started the process to get the chart notes and films of my MRI to the office, and the notes from the neurologist's "zapping" of both sides of the Carpal Tunnel to see the nerve response time. So, I'm stoked, it's only been since 11/8 that I've been trying to get a name -- so I'm stoked. This is one major thing that I have chosen to not put off even though Mom has been a priority for the past year plus, because if I miss the window of opportunity where my nerves are still good, and maybe benefit from the surgery. There are enough scary elements associated with the surgery, especially with my added FMS /MPSstuff that will make recovery more of a challenge. So, the 30th will be the initial consult. I'll keep y'all posted.
##
04:17 PM - link - |
|
Well, Gordy just made me laugh..more like an amazed guffaw actually when he showed me the print out to his previous residence, a neat little 464 sq. feet lake house here at HLCC, for sale for $259,000!!!
link here. Mom's gorgeous approximate 1400 sf condo didn't bring in the $239,500 we asked!!! Yikes Stripes! Obviously they have higher hopes than moi (and that's prolly a good thing!). Go get 'em.
##
06:08 PM - link - |
|
It's a constant learning curve that I'm trying to chase down, and I always lose. The latest this AM - until now - is about laundry. Last nite Mom had an "accident". The best I could do, is have her change her undies, and put on a larger pad...believe me, that was HUGE to get that piece accomplished! So this AM, when Kim was here, I suggested that Mom change into a new pair of undies, jeans and top. After a bit of tug-and-pull-and-push-and... she acquiesced. I told her to put her dirty clothes in the laundry, and when we empty out the washer and dryer, we'll get to it (she doesn't like to mix hers with ours), etc. But...here's the rub. Things have changed (again)...she can't retain it anymore...for any time. A few moments ago, we were ready to do her wash, and she said, she did it already. Now, she couldn't have because our clothes were inhabiting both W&D. And she didn't pull them out etc etc. So, now comes the discussion. She said, she did it already. We say, not today, trying to let her save face. Well that didn't work, she got angry and accused me /us of lying. Swell. I then tried (I know I know, never reason with...law number one of dealing with Alz patients) to suggest that we all know (i.e. Mom) that some times her memory burps, and isn't friendly to her. Perhaps this is one of those moments? Well, of course an adamant NO is the answer. I try you don't think that your memory sometimes goes "off"? No. Well, how about I ask you what Month it is? Jan. What year? ???? 2000 and.... 2010! How about what day? Monday or Tuesday? I don't know! Well, it's November, Mom. NO! When did it get to be November, it was just January.... Now it's my turn to retreat, but I try one more time to get at the soiled laundry. Mom, you know that on occasion, like just now, your memory goes off, and other times, it's spot on! Well, you rely on Gordy and I to help you when it's not right, such as today with the laundry. I Did The Laundry!!! Ok Mom, if you're absolutely certain you did it, I'll back off. Just know that if you change your mind, we'll be glad to do it for you. I'm certain. OK lesson learned? Grab her clothes next time I am successful to get her to change. It's weird, Mom has this neatnik idiosyncrasy -- she now folds her dirty clothes ever so neatly, and will frequently place it with her clean clothing. ARGH! If Mom had a clue that this was occuring, she'd be horrified, as she is a meticulous lady. Damn. Also, last night she was terrified to pieces. She was beyond fear to date, she was the proverbial dear /doe in the headlights. There was no real reassuring her. She had an angry moment when she said, Tomorrow I'm going Home! Well, the anger went poof and fear came back in in spade. Gordy sat with her in her room. I seem to agitate her, especially in the night, but men have inherent creds by virtue of having a penis. Well, last night, Gordy heard me grab some Tazo, and he walked out, said Mom was almost asleep, then she heard him, and saw me and got all afraid, and crying and scared to bits again. My presence really isn't solace for her, it's one of those "as needed" things. So, daily, it becomes more and more real about the need for a place for her to be other than here, but I can't bear it. It kills me to the core of my being. This is so horrible to have to make a choice like this for her. More to the point "to" her. Help me get through this somehow! I need help in this. It's too hard to bear, even with Gordy, Kim, her Doctors all here on the Island...it's too horrific to face. I am so failing her on so many levels in so many ways. And, I find I can't bear to betray her. Sure I've read the books, but it's no help, it's just words when you're the one in it. Thank God /dess my brother, Jim, said that he'd be here for the "transfer" /move to a new place. Gordy and I are so exhausted, we really need his strength and his fresh eye and his support when the day comes. I guess it's time for me to look. Talk about your deer /doe caught in the headlights. I'm having an anxiety attack as I right, I can't breathe. Shit! It sucks to be the responsible one, yes? I don't know how one can reconcile all this responsibility in one's mind. I'm so tired. Oh, yes, I know bitch bitch bitch, but guess what? The surgeon that I was referred to for my hands, well, he isn't taking Medicare patients. I phoned Dr Jimenez' office ASAP, and have to get a different referral to a hand surgeon. I sure hope he knows of one, that it isn't just a name in his "group". So, as ever, back to square one, yet again.
##
06:02 PM - link - |
|
Sir Isaac Newton invented the "cat flap" aka cat door for his own cat.
##
06:06 PM - link - |
|
As I was grabbing all of the extraneous pieces of paper found in this week's "New Yorker", so I could hunker down for a good read (without paper cuts, or strong perfumes), I ran across our very own Dame Edna being "picked up", or "chatted up" at least, by our own Barry Humphries! It was such a joy to see these two having a tete a tete (or in this case, is it merely a tete?). None-the-less, by going online, I found this brilliant photo to post!
[Look at those gams! ..zoe]
Mandarin Oriental Hotel Group's international advertising campaign simply and elegantly connects the Group's well recognized symbol - the fan - with international celebrities who regularly stay at the hotels and consider themselves to be fans of the Group. All of the celebrities featured were photographed by world-famous photographer, Lord Lichfield, in a location of their choice and which, for them, best represents the feeling of well-being. Each fan has chosen a charity to which Mandarin Oriental is delighted to have made a donation of USD 10,000.
Below is their quote:
"Barry Humphries
& Dame Edna
International Megastar with
her creator, Barry HumphriesDame Edna is a fan of The Oriental, Bangkok for its close proximity to the livelyl Chao Phraya River. Barry prefers Mandarin Oriental, Hong Kong for its spectacular views over the harbour, and the contrast it provides with the views of Sydney harbour from his waterfront home. Barry Humphries & Dame Edna's charity of choice is Ability Net"
##
03:23 PM - link - |
|
Well I got the hand skinny yesterday. We went to Dr Jimenez' office, and it was explained more clearly than what I heard from his assistant. The bottom line is that I do need the Capral Tunnel Syndrome Surgery. What they found out via the MRI, that was important information in choosing to go for the surgery, was that the nerves were not "squozed" too tightly and bunched up, making surgery worthless because of damage to them. So it's still a go. I will phone McCutcheon for a consult, and then, the big question is, which hand first? I'm a righty.
If you care to, please email me with your vote (and if you feel inspired, with the reason why):
xoe@army.com
This would help me out because I have no clue as to which is the smarter thing to do. I certainly recognize that there is the chance that after doing one, I may chicken out, or after doing it, I may be so happy, that I will be unable to wait until I can get relief on the other hand. But, that will be after the fact, eh? We all pretty much agree that after having chronic pain for a long time, that one tends to lose some of the higher threshold of pain that we had as a survival mechanism up to now. Also with Momstuff, and lifestuff, I'm so beat, that my stores of energy are incredibly low and my ability to heal quickly is at an ebb. Yech. The other things found from the MRI is that I have Ganglion Cysts, but they really are not for surgery at this time (that's good that Dr J is aware of his patient, moi!) if at all. And, there's nothing I can do about the degenerative Osteo-Arthritis of the left wrist. Oh well. I'm finally catching up to my "disability" and soon will be aching up to speed with my peers . He didn't have the film of the MRI, which was something I wanted to see...bummer. Also, we learned that it is possible that taking Stadol NS can immediately stop any effectiveness of my regular Pain Rx. Apparently, it is not only an agonist, but an antiagonist too, which is used to get folks off of these pain Rx. Hmmmm, must talk about this with Dr Waite. More information is that the Paragabolin Rx that was to be FDA approved in March /April in '06 is out NOW, it's called Lyrica, and I have a script for it. My only real fear about taking this, is that right now I have been having episodes with my stomach, and some of the side effects of it are bloating, abdominal pain, nausea etc. etc. and I think I need to be more on terra firma re: my stomach before I start this so there is less confusion as to which is causing what pain. So, peeps, if you are reading this, please write me with your opinion as to which hand to do first as requested above. Explainations are good too! ;-) Time for some bills and work and....
##
12:20 PM - link - |
"walk this way..."
Igor [prnounced Eye-gore] from "Young Frankenstien" [pronounced Steen] --
there's more!
|
We salute the Grammy nomination of the late great
Dave Van Ronk's final concert album: 
